Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
