So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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