I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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