we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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