the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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