Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
