Just fell off a train. Bad.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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