You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
