never play flip cup with pint glasses
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
and you fell through a lawn chair
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