Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
