And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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