she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
