so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
