and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
