I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
