Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
