What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
