Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
