What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
