Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he wants to bone in the snuggie
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
