eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
