Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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