but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
