So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
