Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
