and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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