i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
