absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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