she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
