Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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