You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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