WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
