so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
