I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
