I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
