hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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