I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
