So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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