I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
