my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
