At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
