I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
