time to smoke my breakfast
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
