after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
