So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
