she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
