yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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