well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
