her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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