check it out our google latitudes are spooning
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
