i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
