are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
