Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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