He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
