Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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