We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
