Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
