We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
