Already got asked if we're dating
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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