Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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