How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
