My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
