in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
