I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
