Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm like, not good at living.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Holy shit dude........stairs
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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