Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
